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November 23, 2015

What NBC Copy Editors Should Have Sent Back

In light of NBC's unnecessarily vague article today about a violent attack (by someone, targeting someone), it seems NBC could use some copy-editing help.

The lede said nothing about who attacked whom; the ethnicity of one victim was noted while the other was mysteriously absent; and the piece conveniently left out key information from an Associated Press article that notes, "87 Palestinians have been killed by Israeli fire. Of them, 55 are said by Israel to be attackers and the rest were killed in clashes with Israeli troops."

Here's our attempt to move things toward an informative and precise article.

(You can click on the image below for a bigger copy.)

nbc revisions sm.jpg

Posted by GI at November 23, 2015 01:10 PM


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